Life with MD w/ Mandy
Hi. My name is Mandy, and I have MD. If you say MD really quickly, it sounds like Mandy. š I also occasionally enjoy McDonald’s fries. I live in a Hutterite Colony, and here’s some insight into my life and brain.
My Latest Posts
- Your faith isn’t supposed to remain small.I admit, Iām a victim of falling for the āIf you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible to youā. Iāve made multiple frames with the bible verses quoting Matthew 17 & Luke 17, justifying my microscopic faith with a mustard seed eco-poxied above a mountain, a tiny jar withContinue reading “Your faith isn’t supposed to remain small.”
- The Spirit is Moving (even if I can’t feel it)Here, tangled up in blankets,ribs bruised and body achingI lament my sorrows to YouThe King of the Universesits right next to melistening, catches my tears in his HandsCradles them to his heart. āThe Man of Sorrowsā, they named him while He was walking on the same dirt, on this very earth.Our afflictions cling to usjust as ourContinue reading “The Spirit is Moving (even if I can’t feel it)”
- Walkin’ & Talkin’Sometimes, I wonder when someone sees me walking, or struggling doing anything- if that’s all they see. Pity passing by their eyes, firing straight towards me, burning into my back.I’ve been assured that this is not the case- that people see strenght & perseverance and not just my physical weakness. But the people that haveContinue reading “Walkin’ & Talkin’”
- Pumpkin Cookie SeasonsLast year at this time, I baked these pumpkin cookies.It was Sunday of my cookweek & I was debating whether or not to go to my great-grandma’s funeral with my exhausted & inflamed body. Was she really gone? Everyone who knows me well, knows that the last 6months of 2023 were… brutal. I was hangingContinue reading “Pumpkin Cookie Seasons”
- Does it ever get lighter? (I know it doesn’t)The one thing that keepsslipping through my fingersno matter how tightly I enclose themclenching them, in fact-is my lightness. Laughingwithout a fear of the futureis not a biblical truth I am familiar with. My body is a cloak;dampering,surrounding,festering my mind withthoughts of incompetence. Where?Where is my lightness?A search party assemblesdesperately questioning, peering with piercing eyesthroughContinue reading “Does it ever get lighter? (I know it doesn’t)”
- I am the most selfish person I know.If someone asked me who the most selfish person I know is, Iād take them to a mirror and point to myself. I have to make the world about me. A Mandy world, if you will. To survive in a world that was made for everyone else, I need to constantly adjust and rearrange my surroundingsContinue reading “I am the most selfish person I know.”
- How rare and beautiful it is to age.The age you become on your birthday is the number of years with which youāve already graced earth with your presence. Today marks 24 years since I was welcomed earthside.Ā Nobody I know has ever embraced the advancement of their age. On the contrary, birthdays are often dreaded, almost like weāre systematically conditioned to fearContinue reading “How rare and beautiful it is to age.”
- Behind Prison Bars.I am locked behind bars that are visible to nobody but myself. The barsare my body, I am inside.I throw myself against them,bruising myself morethan denting them. The same handsthat were clasped inthankfulness a day beforeare nowgrasping, reaching, beggingthrough the prison cellto an invisible God.For healing, For freedom. I know He could,I know He can.So whywhy is my prison cellenclosing meContinue reading “Behind Prison Bars.”
- Respectfully, Go Touch Grass.Who would Amanda Hofer be if she didnāt have Muscular Dystrophy? Who would I be if my energy wouldnāt be centered on surviving, but rather on thriving? There are a variety of rabbit-hole questions like these that one can ask about their existence. The well-traveled route my brain loves to take, is one that leavesContinue reading “Respectfully, Go Touch Grass.”
- 10+ years & 10 essays laterI’m not crying, you’re crying.Man alive. When I wrote my first essay I genuinely thought it was going to be one-and-done.. just get everything off my chest, and move on with life.But God didn’t think so.The people who have reached out- telling me that my writings have put their thoughts into words that they couldn’tContinue reading “10+ years & 10 essays later”
- Interabled Relationships are beautiful.None of my essays have a targeted audience, but this one does. If I were in a relationship, it would be an āinterabledā relationship. An interabled relationship is where one person has a disability and the other does not. If you go on online, you can find thousands of couples who are in very happy andContinue reading “Interabled Relationships are beautiful.”
- I’m glad I exist. (And I’m glad you do too)Iāve spoken about my anxiety and depression before, but never about being suicidal. Itās ātheā taboo subject- you arenāt supposed to even think about it, much less talk about it. So here goes. Iāve been suicidal. I didnāt particularly want to die, I just wanted to cease to exist. But death itself terrified me. ForContinue reading “I’m glad I exist. (And I’m glad you do too)”
- He has a plan, therefore I have a purpose.This might be messier and slightly different from my usual writings cause itās written in present tense and raw & unedited, but here we are ļ« It’s not a pity party, writing just helps my chaotic brain organize itself and today you get front row seats š Today I collapsed. I have different kind ofContinue reading “He has a plan, therefore I have a purpose.”
- My body is 110 years old.My body is essentially around 110 years old. Dramatic pause. Not in the wrinkled sense evidently, in the muscle tone sense. I realized this in an odd way. One day in Winnipeg I saw a very weak and frail looking older gentleman, lift his foot so his caretaker could slip on his shoes. My brainContinue reading “My body is 110 years old.”
- 2022 Yearend Recap2022. What. A. Load.I’ve had some health scares in the past that were terrifying. All of those were hiccups compared to the call I got in January from my new doctor who was concerned about my heart. I knew that MD does affect the heart, so my anxiety skyrocketed to the moon. Anxiety affects theContinue reading “2022 Yearend Recap”
- PrideWe all have a slice of it in our lives. It comes in all shapes and sizes, creeping in at times you wouldnāt expect it. I think I can speak for all people with physical disabilities when I say we have a certain kind of pride. Itās not an āIām better than youā pride orContinue reading “Pride”
- I’m not unreliable, my illness is.Iāve missed a whole lot of work. Whether it was all day everyone-on-board work, just a small job, or even just a personal goal I had set for myself that I wasnāt able to complete. Iāve had to learn to be aware of a burnout potentially sneaking in- If I need to rest more inContinue reading “I’m not unreliable, my illness is.”
- In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind.In a world where you can be anything, be kind. I used to think this quote was slightly clichĆ© ā on Pinterest, Instagram, on frames in random houses. Itās everywhere. The quote itself is cute, donāt get me wrong, I just figured it was slightly overrated. I mean, kindness doesnāt cost anything, right? Wrong. IāmContinue reading “In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind.”
- Proper IntroductionIt’s probably time for my introduction, I’d say.My name is Mandy and i have Muscular Dystrophy, which you’re most likely also aware of, since my bio and username offers all this information readily. I’m also very much a Hutterite (for those who might find this and were not aware of my existance until now;)I madeContinue reading “Proper Introduction”
- My JourneyIf IĀ had toĀ change anything in my life, IādĀ stillĀ choose my reality.Ā At first glance,Ā it seems so stupid. Why wouldĀ IĀ give upĀ theĀ chance to have a seemingly normal life? To not have to count the steps,Ā judge everyĀ angle,Ā or calculate the speedĀ atĀ which to go up a step most effortlessly (and still have it take a lot of effort)?Ā The chance to play sportsContinue reading “My Journey”
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory being all comparision.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17
If you want to reach out, my Instagram & email are linked below. Thanksyou for visiting my page ā”
Life with MD w/ Mandy 